An Open Letter to Table 54

Things over which I have no control:

• Your bread arriving late. The bussers deliver bread, and I asked for help repeatedly.
  
• Your espresso being served in large coffee cups. We don't have any espresso cups. I don't know what happened to them. I'm sorry. Suck it up and drink your espresso out of the biggy cup.
  
• Our bananas foster dessert not being the cool, en flambe version that's made tableside. Sorry, they won't let me play with fire. Your rolling your eyes doesn't help, though.
  
• One bottle of wine not being enough for 6 people to have full glasses. Sorry you had to drop the $22 on a second bottle.

Things over which I have control:

• My response to you when you asked me repeatedly if I was, in fact, actually serving you decaf. I should've said something other than "Ma'am, I do this for a living," after your third query. I was weeded, and very stressed. Still, I acknowledge that was uncalled for. Just so you know, though, I have friend with a heart condition who must avoid caffeine. I understand there are medical reasons to do so. I know you want to be sure. But I wouldn't pull a switcheroo on you. I'm very careful with that sort of thing. Be assured I'm not a moron.

Things I wish you would've done:

• Said something directly to me about any aspect of the meal you were unsatisfied with. I would've tried to fix it. It's what I'm here for.

In closing, bite me.

Love,
Ann